WICKED: PAGING DR.HOPPER...

What can we say? Any episode with Henry in peril falls flat on its scripted face. The only bright moments were Regina glowing after a snuggle with her Sherwood stud and her wickedness looking perturbed when she couldn't get through the magic door in the forest to see Ga...whoops, Glinda, the good witch. Yes, we were rooting for the winged monkeys (the ex-Sleeping Beauty and her Prince) when they wanted to capture Henry but hélas, he is still with us. Not so Bae, who managed to pull himself out of his father's mind long enough to send a message to Hook with the remembering potion for Emma. We wonder what Freud would do with that interesting scenario! 

WICKED: NOT TONIGHT DEARIE

The B*tch was Back! Oh Cora, even as a ghost, you're just a nasty gal. Yes, Z's baby daddy was a chance tavern encounter with faux prince and low-life gardener who didn't put his spade in the right place. Meanwhile, in Storybrooke, Zelena still isn't getting lucky. Rumple tried to get his dagger but she didn't get his, alas. Another lonely night for Greenie picking lice off winged monkeys and moping about younger sis who's off the charts with her stud from Sherwood. Trope true that nice bad girls finish first and bad sad girls finish last.

WICKED:HUZZAH FOR THE QUEEN OF HEARTS!

The B*tch is Back! Disney is giving its viewers, in next week's episode, a resurrection to remember and we're not talking about the sadsack spiritual flick floundering worse than Ariel without her magic bracelet. It's also not about some obscure guy dangling on a tree. No, we're talking about Bada** and Busty Bedazzler,Queen Cora in Storybrooke's last hope to tame First Spawn and Green Meanie, Zelena. Maybe there will finally be answers about Z's baby daddy. Hook? I'm setting my DVR and can't wait to see the fundies have a, uh, talk with a man about a horse over the timing of her evil Maj's return.

UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE! We'll find out why Cora abandoned Zelena in the next episode. However, it's already pretty obvious Cora was digging for gold, but not Rumple. And who's Z's baby daddy? Hook? The late and lamented Bae? A random encounter into the woods? Careful the wish you make, wishes are children...

WICKED UPDATE---POOR HANDSOME HOOK

David/Charming is not adapting to modern life well.Baby furniture, alas, is not within his swashbuckling skills. He also needs to brush up on the grand-parenting lessons.Joy-riding with a grandson who still can't remember him, and taking out mailboxes with the sheriff's truck while his preggers wife looks on,says mid-life crisis in bold letters. Just don't tell mayor Regina about the damage. She's busy being big sister in the dark arts to her sometime rival Emma. And, yes, we're so amazed she hasn't called Ms. Goldilocks "Dorothy", with how modest her Majesty thinks of the trainee's self-magical-confidence. Emma has had the power in her all along, much like the little girl from Kansas. If only her Charming father had a brain...

Meanwhile, Hook has troubles of his own; namely taking a lot of cold showers to bury his feelings for Emma Swan so it doesn't ruin the magic. He has it bad, but not as bad as Zelena, with half her problem being, well, she doesn't have another half except for winged monkeys and what do you have except litter boxes, hair in the food, body odor, and lice? She should talk to Granny, the resident matchmaker, who knows (courtesy of Ruby) all the eligible men in Storybrooke. Gran-Gran could find someone to cool the big Z's fire, and not just with a bucket of water.

WICKED UPDATE--SPOILER ALERT

Bae is not coming back. The funeral scene was heart-rending, and leaves the field open for Hook/Emma...or does it? Meanwhile, Robin Hood literally has Regina's heart, when she left it to his care before her fight with the green meanie.

It's hard to like Zelena, even though she has the most tragic back-story ever with a mother who abandoned her and  a souse foster father. The big question is who's her baby-daddy? She has a bitch, Cora, but who is the sire? It can't be Rumple because he would have remembered anything with Cora. Hook? That would make him Regina's step-dad. Night root... Our brains hurt.

WICKED UPDATE--SPOILER ALERT

Poor Bae, and poor Regina. Poor Emma and Henry. Poor Robin Hood. Bartender, a little bit of the night root please. This was a depressing episode.

The question is who really did in Baelfire? Was it sacrificing himself? Did Hook get his you-know-what into Bae when he gave his rival for Emma's affections a "brotherly" hug in the hospital? Did our favorite pirate backstab him with the hand cleaver? Or did he slip Neal a mickey (not mouse), to sedate him before he did a strange transformation in the forest? Is Bae really dead?

And now for Regina. Girl, you have got to get over yourself.  He's hot, you're hot. Light a fire. It might be an excuse for Emma to throw water in your direction and take out Zelena. The next episode should answer some burning questions in the Wicked west showdown of the season.